Sometimes I think

                                       
                                      
an important part of who I am is stuck in my pre-teen       
and teen years.  Why?  As it pertains directly to me    
I am not sure, but as it pertains to others when they
are compared to me by me in particular/ it seems they
are--no matter their age--more serious in their daily
doings than I am.  Strange.  My temperament is not a
sanguine one.  Lonelinesses are my milieux.  Yet I am  
riddled by a playfulness that undercuts my sadnesses.
And I never know when or how it will show.  Most often
it enters spontaneously.  It is in its way a safety   
valve I ought to be grateful for, but I sense others
see me as silly and insincere because of it.  Perhaps
I am wrong as no one has ever said anything more than:   
"That's not funny."  Of course, what I blurt isn't   
supposed to be funny, just goofy.  My humour is of   
the dry British sort.  Sometimes I would say:  "Well,
I got it from the Imp from the Garbage Universe, and
when I die I am going to kill him."  Poor Shakespeare,
or the 17th Earl of ?.  One day a coworker's remark   
led me to say:  "I once read that Hamlet had a weight
problem; so this is what I did with the 'To be or not
to be' soliloquy: Tubby or not tubby, that is the   
question.  Whether 'tis better to go on a diet, or   
build a kite, and fly it."  See what I mean.  Another
day when I was with two coworkers who were talking   
about the movie, Amistad, and one of them said the
main character knew only 5 English words, I immediately
responded: "Yes: 'You stupid.  I go home.'"  It is for
reasons such as these that I have concluded it is best
to read many of my poems with an accent quite unlike
one's own.  The resulting angularity juices them.        
                                                      
                                                    
                                                    
                                                   
                                                
                                                    
kh00013