"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sometimes I think

an important part of who I am is stuck in my pre-teen and teen years. Why? As it pertains directly to me I am not sure, but as it pertains to others when they are compared to me by me in particular/ it seems they are--no matter their age--more serious in their daily doings than I am. Strange. My temperament is not a sanguine one. Lonelinesses are my milieux. Yet I am riddled by a playfulness that undercuts my sadnesses. And I never know when or how it will show. Most often it enters spontaneously. It is in its way a safety valve I ought to be grateful for, but I sense others see me as silly and insincere because of it. Perhaps I am wrong as no one has ever said anything more than: "That's not funny." Of course, what I blurt isn't supposed to be funny, just goofy. My humour is of the dry British sort. Sometimes I would say: "Well, I got it from the Imp from the Garbage Universe, and when I die I am going to kill him." Poor Shakespeare, or the 17th Earl of ?. One day a coworker's remark led me to say: "I once read that Hamlet had a weight problem; so this is what I did with the 'To be or not to be' soliloquy: Tubby or not tubby, that is the question. Whether 'tis better to go on a diet, or build a kite, and fly it." See what I mean. Another day when I was with two coworkers who were talking about the movie, Amistad, and one of them said the main character knew only 5 English words, I immediately responded: "Yes: 'You stupid. I go home.'" It is for reasons such as these that I have concluded it is best to read many of my poems with an accent quite unlike one's own. The resulting angularity juices them. kh00013


William Michaelian said...

That’s what I’ve been doing, and with good success.

I also read all of Finnegans Wake out loud. A truly delightful experience.

brian a j salchert said...

You're amazing.

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